Married, Approaching 30, Childless and Content

I scrolled past this on one of my Pinterest boards this morning and thought it was worth reposting.

If you’re dealing with something similar or praying through a season of infertility or loss, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers πŸ’—πŸ’œπŸ™

I was about to be 30 when my initial post was shared, now I’m approaching 32 and not much has changed.

However; I do realize that these years have granted me the benefit of WISDOM gained.

I can be CONTENT in my situation, but that does not mean that I am COMPLACENT.

I can be grateful for my marriage and the union that we continue to build while also working to develop myself as an individual and wife who will (I believe) one day become a mother.

I’ve been a bit more quiet during the last half of this year.

Intentionality.

Earlier, I mentioned that 2017 would be the year I, “unplugged” and I became more committed to that personal vow as the year went on.

I have been working on personal goals and taking better care of myself.

Despite having had a few health challenges, I am feeling better now and looking forward to several things and living my BEST life.

I think Drake said it best,

I’ll be back 2018 to give you the summary….MORE LIFE”

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Fix-It With Fran

I love kids. Especially young kids (toddlers), but I don’t want ANY….right now.

Still, I have STRUGGLED with this.

Partner that with the conversation I experience almost daily: β€œAre you married? (Yes). Do you have kids (No). ****Insert confused/shocked/lost puppy/blank stare here****

I know I’m not the first to experience this and I understand that most people don’t mean any harm when asking those questions; However, it’s been on my heart to have a conversation (blog) about this topic. It is so frustrating/challenging and sometimes just downright draining to deal with this as frequently as I do.

Then came the guilt. Thoughts like:

Am I being selfish?

SHOULD we have kids now?

I know there are many young, married couples that are praying for children, but right now that’s not my prayer.– Does that make me a bad person?

Maybe it’s another character building exercise God is walking me through…

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Being Still Requires Work

This morning, the verse, “Be Still and know that I Am God” (Psalm 46:10) was on my heart.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized this–Being STILL requires WORK!

I locked in on this revelation while getting dressed this morning. Literally, I was putting lotion on my feet and noticed how well my pedicure was holding up and then I thought of this example….

I’m one of those people that struggles to stay still when I’m getting a pedicure. For whatever reason, once I’m in the chair, my toes begin to wiggle. I think it’s because I’m often trying so hard to be still, especially once the color is being applied. God used that example to show me how being still requires work.

Being still requires work, but much of that work is internal. We have to cease from our labors and rest in the fact that God is in control. He has not forgotten us and nothing catches him off guard.

Much like when I’m in the pedicure chair. Once I redirect my thoughts, I’m able to still back and relax and eventually, I look up to see that the work is done!

God’s doing the same thing for us right now. Rest in Him. Again, I understand that resting isn’t always easy, and you’ll still have the urge to want to “do something.”

Instead of trying to do God’s job for Him, redirect your energies toward meditating on His promises.

Scriptures to meditate on:

Habakkuk 2:3 (NKJV)
3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.

Isaiah 40:31 – But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

Psalms 37:34 – Wait on the LORD, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see [it].

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Color selections from my most recent mani/pedi session