I love kids. Especially young kids (toddlers), but I don’t want ANY….right now.
Still, I have STRUGGLED with this.
Partner that with the conversation I experience almost daily: “Are you married? (Yes). Do you have kids (No). ****Insert confused/shocked/lost puppy/blank stare here****
I know I’m not the first to experience this and I understand that most people don’t mean any harm when asking those questions; However, it’s been on my heart to have a conversation (blog) about this topic. It is so frustrating/challenging and sometimes just downright draining to deal with this as frequently as I do.
Then came the guilt. Thoughts like:
Am I being selfish?
SHOULD we have kids now?
I know there are many young, married couples that are praying for children, but right now that’s not my prayer.– Does that make me a bad person?
Maybe it’s another character building exercise God is walking me through (I’m sure that will become clearer with time). But, I digress.
Thinking back, I received similar comments when I was single…
“You’re such a nice girl.”
“You’d make such a good wife”
“I can’t believe that someone like YOU is single.” :-\
When I was single and desiring a husband, I believed that I would one day have what I was praying for because my desire was not selfish or self-serving. I understood the ministry of marriage and was preparing myself for a union that would be an example to this generation.
I AM married now and I know that the time leading up to my marriage allowed me to grow and prepare for the responsibility of marriage. Even still, I’m not perfect, but I’m blessed to have a husband who is committed to growing with me (Proverbs 27:12).
Whether you’re single/dating/married, one thing holds true. You may not be able to do anything about the opinions you encounter, but what YOU CAN DO is focus on being content with your portion–be that in a relationship, your career, or even in ministry. I’ve been meditating on Psalm 16:5-6, which reads,
“The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.”
When you find contentment, the other opinions don’t matter. The temptation to compare yourself to others is very real, but it leads to a dead end. Comparison IS the thief of joy and NO LEVEL of comparison is worth your peace. Trust God for His best and REST in Him (Philippians 4:6-7).
We may have a child next year or in the next three years, but I’m not worried about the timing. I trust that God will prepare me for that chapter and in the meantime, I’ll post pins on Pinterest, read random articles and prepare myself (as best possible) to be the best mother I can be.
For today, this is my portion. I am married, approaching 30, childless and content.