Married, Approaching 30, Childless and Content

I scrolled past this on one of my Pinterest boards this morning and thought it was worth reposting.

If you’re dealing with something similar or praying through a season of infertility or loss, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers πŸ’—πŸ’œπŸ™

I was about to be 30 when my initial post was shared, now I’m approaching 32 and not much has changed.

However; I do realize that these years have granted me the benefit of WISDOM gained.

I can be CONTENT in my situation, but that does not mean that I am COMPLACENT.

I can be grateful for my marriage and the union that we continue to build while also working to develop myself as an individual and wife who will (I believe) one day become a mother.

I’ve been a bit more quiet during the last half of this year.

Intentionality.

Earlier, I mentioned that 2017 would be the year I, “unplugged” and I became more committed to that personal vow as the year went on.

I have been working on personal goals and taking better care of myself.

Despite having had a few health challenges, I am feeling better now and looking forward to several things and living my BEST life.

I think Drake said it best,

I’ll be back 2018 to give you the summary….MORE LIFE”

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Fix-It With Fran

I love kids. Especially young kids (toddlers), but I don’t want ANY….right now.

Still, I have STRUGGLED with this.

Partner that with the conversation I experience almost daily: β€œAre you married? (Yes). Do you have kids (No). ****Insert confused/shocked/lost puppy/blank stare here****

I know I’m not the first to experience this and I understand that most people don’t mean any harm when asking those questions; However, it’s been on my heart to have a conversation (blog) about this topic. It is so frustrating/challenging and sometimes just downright draining to deal with this as frequently as I do.

Then came the guilt. Thoughts like:

Am I being selfish?

SHOULD we have kids now?

I know there are many young, married couples that are praying for children, but right now that’s not my prayer.– Does that make me a bad person?

Maybe it’s another character building exercise God is walking me through…

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More Marriage Meditations

In honor of “Marriage Monday” I decided to share some thoughts from a recent conversation with one of my single friends….

My friend asked for some dating/relationship advice and I thought this part of my response was worth sharing:

Marriage is work, but it’s interesting to consider comparing your dating interactions to a job.

We all work some grunt jobs along the way, but a career is the ultimate goal.

Marriage is a CAREER, not a job. You want your marriage to be successful, to last. You may shift from job to job (dating relationship to dating relationship), but you want your marriage to be the fulfilling work you do until your dying day. You want to build something that will go from this generation, to the next, and the next and so on after that.

If you’re the person doing the “hiring” and you already see you have someone that’s not interested in doing the “work”, it seems to me that you’d want to keep that position open for a person with the same long term vision.

Don’t settle for a temporary person– one who has openly expressed that he/she is only looking for a short term position and not a long term tenure.

Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t cheapen your requirements. Hold the position open for THE BEST candidate.

In the end, you’ll thank yourself. I’m speaking from experience here.

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More Marriage Meditations

We attended a holiday party this week when another young couple asked us how we were enjoying married life after two years and when I responded, “I LOVE IT!” The couple said, “You’ve got to be kidding, most married couples hate each other after the second year.”

That made me really sad, but prayerful and thankful that Brandon does most of the things listed in this article without me ever having to ask. We’re definitely NOT perfect, but my prayer before getting married was that our relationship would be an example to this generation. Marriages CAN and DO work when God is in the midst and you’re REALLY committed to one another and the PROCESS.

YES, marriage is a PROCESS!

I think this generation has been disillusioned into believing that the best couples never disagree or butt heads or argue or feel disappointed by their spouse. Those things DO happen, but it’s in the OVERCOMING of those challenges/issues that we learn grace and forgiveness.  In a weird way, those negative events can strengthen your relationship IF you let them. Just my experience/thoughts and observations from couples with 25 and 50 years in the game!  #marriagematters #morningmeditations #TeamBHenry #thankful #happywife

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (NIV)

More Marriage Mediations on FixitWithFran.com