Marriage Monday: My Marriage Meditations

This was on my heart to share:

When I matured enough to know that I wanted to be married (having developed an understanding of the privilege and ministry that marriage is), I spent time seeking fulfilment for myself first.

Part of that involved personal goals (degrees, career, travel, etc.) and the other part was spiritual. I wanted to be full of my purpose and personal relationship with God before ANYONE else came into the picture.

Being single was not always easy, nor pleasant for me, but NOW I see how my time of preparation was KEY. I spent time pouring my heart out to God about A LOT of things. Including the type of love I desired.

Not just a relationship or marriage, but a friendship and bond rooted in something much deeper. When I look at my husband, I remember those prayers and there are SPECIAL moments when God brings something to my attention that reminds me of the specific prayers that I prayed.

When people see me with Brandon and comment on the way I look at him or how genuinely happy we seem, I thank God because I PRAYED for THAT and God shows himself strong by reminding me of those prayers every time someone makes that comment.

Do we have hard days? YES!

Have we had some UGLY blow ups? ABSOLUTELY–we’re NOT perfect!

But we’ve GROWN so much more and TOGETHER are becoming so much STRONGER.

One day I was home from college talking with my mom and I told her, “I’ve been praying and I think maybe I’m not going to be married. Maybe that’s not what God wants for me, but if that’s not it, I’m sure he has something else in store.”

I have a former classmate (who is also a minister) that I laughed with after meeting my now husband. She observed and commented, “As soon as you released that thing (i.e. trying to be in relationships that weren’t God ordained) He gave you EXACTLY what you were praying for.”

Looking back on both of those instances made me realize that SOMETIMES GOD has to see that you’ll pursue his will ABOVE ALL ELSE. (Seek HIM FIRST and HE will give you the desires of your heart–but understand THIS, everything you desire may not be God’s will for your life).

If you’re single now and desiring a mate–KEEP PRAYING and TRUSTING HIM! Keep doing your part. Find fulfillment in your relationship with GOD and your relationship with YOURSELF. When the right person comes along, you won’t miss a beat.

I prayed this prayer (shown below) for years, but it came to pass. If marriage is a true, unselfish desire of your heart, I’m standing in agreement with you. I’ve also included a link to the prayer online. (Originally published in Prayers that Avail Much for Teens)

Future Spouse Prayer

I come before You, Father, desiring a christian mate. I petition that your will be done in my life, and I enter into that blessed rest by adhering to, trusting in, and relying on You.

Father, You desire that I live a life free from care, that I should be content and satisfied in every situation that I am in, and that I should not be anxious or worried about anything. You have said that if I am willing and obedient to Your Word, You will give me the desires of my heart. It is my desire that someday I will be married to the person You have chose for me.

I pray for him/her. Father, especially help him/her grow in love, Your kind of love. A friend loves at all times, and I desire for my spouse to be my very best friend. I desire that my spouse be a person who shares the same love that I have for you, someone who will be one in spirit and purpose with me.

I ask You to send mature men and women into our lives to give us good, godly counsel and to teach us how we should love each other and care for our family. Teach us both what You expect husbands and wives to do and how we ought to behave toward each other. Reveal to our hearts Your Word concerning the marriage relationship and correct any wrong thinking in our lives. Grant us knowledge throught godly people, books, tapes, and preaching that will give us understinding concerning relationships, so that we can avoid damaging the relationship You desire for us.

Father, I trust You to lead me and guide me by Your Holy Spirit so that when Your perfect time is right, I wil have the wisdom, discretion, and discernment to know that my choice and Yours are the same for my life-mate, I am secure with the mind and the spirit that You have given me to make this decision.

I pray that the eyes of my future spouse’s understanding will be opened so that he/she will have complete knowledge of Your will in all spiritual wisdom and understinding. I pray that he/she will live a life that is worthy of You, Lord, and pleasing to You in every way. I Pray that he/she will always be involved in doing good deeds, and have a strong, growing relationship with You. I pray that our commitment to each other will continually grow as we draw closer to You.

I pray In Jesus’ name. Amen

Future Spouse Scripture References:
Genesis 2:18-24 Ephesians 5:22-25
Psalm 37:4,5 KJV Philippians 2:2-7 AMP
Psalm 1:30:5 Colossians 1:9,10
Proverbs 17:17KJV Colossians 2:9,10 AMP
Isaiah 1:19 Hebrews 4:3,10 AMP
Matthew 6:33 RSV

Thankful Thursday: Why I am PROUD to Call Laurinburg, NC My Hometown

I originally shared this as a Facebook post, but I thought about it this morning and figured it was also worth posting here. I’m sooooooooooooo thankful for my life and I’m proud to say I am from Laurinburg.

When I was younger, I didn’t understand the hurt, pain, and challenges I went through. I used to cry because I was ashamed/embarrassed– now tears fall because I see, EVERYDAY, how God is using my story to help today’s youth.

Yesterday, after bible study, one of my youth came up to me and said, “Miss Fran, I didn’t know we had all that in common” and I replied (with a smile on my face), “Yes, we do. And all those negative things don’t matter when God has His hand on your life. He WILL use it ALL for your GOOD!”

Like Joseph, God has taken me from what felt like the “pit” of my life, to the “palace” and HE can do the same for you. If you’ll let Him.

Isaiah 61:3
To all who mourn in Israel,
    he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
    festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
    that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

My original Facebook post:

I was pretty silent on the whole mediatakeout thing and Laurinburg being named, “The most ratchet city in the country” but, believe it or not, I’ll be talking to my youth about it tonight during bible study.

Many already know my testimony of my hometown, family, and many of the obstacles I’ve overcome to be where I am today, but I think this is another opportunity to be completely transparent with them. To show them (as age appropriate) that I’m not making this up. I came from a situation that most of them are living in RIGHT NOW– and I am where I am now because I decided that I wanted something different for my life. I now live a life that is beyond anything I could have imagined. When I tell them that Matthews 6:33, Ephesians 3:20, and Proverbs 16:3 are REAL it’s because I am living proof!

To tell the truth, I wasn’t even mad about the article. I was taken aback because I realize THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME; BUT GOD.

I will never be ashamed to say, “I am from Laurinburg, NC,” because it was there that God put people in my life to show me that there was a better way. There WAS opportunity and things to be experienced, but it would take hard work, determination, and having a VISION for my life, beyond what I could currently see.

There are MANY of us who “made it out” and if we were all REALLY honest about it, we’d admit that with one wrong decision it could ALL be different.

Laurinburg is a small town, with less than 20,000 people, and while it may not be perfect and I may not live there anymore, there were so many people who made it a better place and who continue to invest in making it better. For that, I am thankful.

Zechariah 4:10 NLT
Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.

My Graduation in 2011

I completed a dual degree program and received an MPA and MSW from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

After receiving my degrees, I was one of 5 graduates from across the US chosen for the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities’ State Fiscal Policy Fellowship.

I now serve as a Program Coordinator/Mentor for the Girls of Destine’ Mentorship Program in New Orleans, LA/Houston Texas. Here’s a photo of myself and one of my mentees feeding the Homeless with Girls of Destine’ in 2014.

Feeding the Homeless in 2013 with Girls of Destine’

Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for GOOD to accomplish what is NOW being done, the saving of many lives.

Testimony Tuesday: I’m Walking

I just finished my morning mile and tears started streaming down my face.

Tears, because I realized that I was walking without pain and I remembered the many days that I dealt with chronic pain in my hip. Walking was painful, sitting was even more painful. Other than my husband, no one really knew just how much pain I was in. On top of that, I had several doctors tell me that I would always be in pain and their insistence made me believe that the pain was just a normal part of my life.

BUT GOD. I understand that there are many conditions in life that we must deal with, but I decided to cling to my faith. I prayed that God would do what ONLY he could do in the supernatural and that I would do my part in the natural. I spent the last year going to physical therapy, sometimes two and three times a week. This month, my husband and I joined a new gym and have been consistently working out 4 to 5 times a week.

I may have slight pain some days, but it’s NOTHING compared to what it used to be. My therapists don’t understand it. My doctor initially thought I would need surgery, BUT GOD.

Last year, I posted a photo of my handicap placard. I got it in 2008 upon my until diagnosis. That was my registered placard, not my mom/dad/auntie/grandma’s. MINE. And I declared that this time next year I wouldn’t need it. I’m happy to report, not only do I NOT need the placard, I now park at the furthest parking space in most parking lots. God IS faithful!

I’m sharing this testimony this morning, praying that it encourages you to KEEP GOING! Believe God for his best for your life and refuse to settle for anything less.

Matthew 19:26 New Living Translation Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”

Walking: Mary Mary

Press Through the Dark Place

This week, I was able to reconnect with a friend from grad school that I hadn’t seen in over 4 years. As we laughed and caught up, she said, “Fran, you ALWAYS made the most out of whatever season you were in.”

That touched me to the core. Grad school was a hard time in my life. My scholarship program’s funding got cut (I went from having a full tuition scholarship with a stipend to NOTHING), I was pursuing my passion of working with kids only to have a gun drawn on me at work, and I worked 5 different jobs while being a student full time and pursuing two degrees.

Not many people know those parts of my story, but it’s sooooooooooooo AMAZING how God will use people in your life to remind you of everything you’ve overcome and to speak even the smallest words of encouragement at the right time.

I never thought that about myself, but I see how the description is fitting. It’s easy to lean to the flesh when times are hard. To become discouraged and feel overwhelmed. But when I stand in faith, I truly adopt a resolve that “if this is where God has me during this point in my life, this is where I’m supposed to be to learn/experience something for the next part of my journey.”

I’m by no means perfect, and sometimes I’m slow to take on that mindset, but it NEVER fails me.

I started this post because I saw this image and felt overwhelmingly thankful, but I pray it encourages you as well. Even in the darkest hours, God will send those small reminders. I pray that you press through, understanding that the dark hours are not meant to destroy you. Rather they are intended to strengthen you and accomplish a greater purpose.

I also encourage you to thank those people that have been lights in your life. I like that phrase, “Give people flowers while they are living.” You may have thanked them in your heart, but thank them with your words. Let them know they made a difference. Sometimes, that in itself is a light that can help to keep them going too.

Seeds of Faith:

Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Philippians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8
(Emphasis on verses 18-19; 37-39)
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Isaiah 41:10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

More Marriage Meditations

We attended a holiday party this week when another young couple asked us how we were enjoying married life after two years and when I responded, “I LOVE IT!” The couple said, “You’ve got to be kidding, most married couples hate each other after the second year.”

That made me really sad, but prayerful and thankful that Brandon does most of the things listed in this article without me ever having to ask. We’re definitely NOT perfect, but my prayer before getting married was that our relationship would be an example to this generation. Marriages CAN and DO work when God is in the midst and you’re REALLY committed to one another and the PROCESS.

YES, marriage is a PROCESS!

I think this generation has been disillusioned into believing that the best couples never disagree or butt heads or argue or feel disappointed by their spouse. Those things DO happen, but it’s in the OVERCOMING of those challenges/issues that we learn grace and forgiveness. In a weird way, those negative events can strengthen your relationship IF you let them. Just my experience/thoughts and observations from couples with 25 and 50 years in the game! #marriagematters #morningmeditations #TeamBHenry #thankful #happywife

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (NIV)